mas um ponto final ou a cadência de uma frase em aperto é-me por demais reconfortante. habituei-me a encontrar-me nas entrelinhas dos poetas que li. foram e são poucos, ainda. recordo-me que não gostava de poesia - não a compreendia. como muito do que vivo, ainda - também. assusta-me a intensidade do que me passa entre as mãos. então, afasto-me. o corpo permanece mas eu saio e vagueio e consigo ver-me de fora. apreciar a paisagem e a minha expressão enquanto a envolvo. começar por acordar com uma 'boa noite' parece-me o equivalente a começar mais uma vida com um 'mas'... 'ainda tinha tanto por.'.. e estás cá de novo. já não consigo prender-me num assunto. talvez já me tenha libertado demasiado e agora não precise de ser só mais um autómato em traço contínuo. reservo sempre o talvez e o mas, porque também eles me reservam espaços interrogáveis que trazem liberdade. eu sei. já devia ter aprendido a separar as palavras gigantes e já as devia ter arrumado, mas não consigo. elas não deixam e eu... não quero. nunca mais me zanguei com o mundo. só comigo. de vez em quando, choro. deixo acumular mais uma gota de mar e há determinados dias em que consigo criar tempestades só minhas. e seja lá pelo que for, faz-me sorrir se chorar. agora. não digas a ninguém, mas eu não escrevo mais, não me sento aqui ao pé de ti as vezes que queria porque tenho receio que as vezes sejam tracejadas na parede como acontece com os presos. mas sorri. é que assim convencemo-nos de que somos pequenos deuses do nosso mundo. |
Author's Comments
Título: Mas
Maria Rocha, 2009 |
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